R-O-A-R

To say I'm not a Katy Perry fan is an understatement. I tend to find her lyrics cliché at best, offensive at worst. And the music isn't particularly inspiring. Anyone who knows me knows I don't speak the language of music. I have no rhythm and very little understanding of what goes into making music. But I do know when something is just downright bad! So when my girls asked me to listen to her single "Roar" my immediate relief had to do with the fact that I didn't have to censor anything. It's an upbeat girl power song…nothing new, but nothing bad.

 The video shows a timid Katy who relies on her macho companion for everything--to know what to say and what move to make. In short, she is the caricature of the helpless maiden. Once the Ken figure dies, however, Miss Katy finds herself alone in the jungle having to fend off fierce animals (I did mention this was a video and that it was a Katy Perry video--no further explanation needed for the dramatic flair). As you might guess from the title of the song, our protagonist experiences a transformation, and pretty soon she sings to let the world know that she and she alone is in charge of her world! Indeed she tames the lion with her voice (while wearing some nicely tailored animal skins, I might add). 

She is woman, hear her ROAR! And why shouldn't a girl be empowered to have her voice heard, right? It's a message I know very well intellectually, having grown up the daughter of a single mom for a good chunk of my youth, the alum of a progressive Ivy league school (we won't mention it was the last of its kind to go co-ed) and the mother of three future women. But I know lots of things intellectually (some days I doubt this!). That doesn't mean I "get" them. So after about the eighteenth time listening to the song, all four of us females singing, I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter/Dancing through the fire/'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar/Louder, louder than a lion/'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar! I realized that I really didn't get it.  To be blunt, the lyrics smacked me in the face like a wet rag.  What I routinely communicate to my girls is "shhhh!"  Literally, I spend a lot of time "shhhing" them.  They're loud.  They're talkative.  And they're a threesome  so it's rarely quiet in my airspace and sometimes "shhhing" is necessary.  But sometimes it's not.  Sometimes I need to enjoy the fact that they so intrinsically know they were created to ROAR and that nothing in this world has thus far squelched that in them…including me.  They push the limits, they challenge my husband and me when when they disagree with a decision, they get in trouble…they live life to the fullest and they are not afraid of what the future holds.  They are not me, the forty-some year old who has spent countless hours and countless dollars trying to find her voice.  But there's still plenty of time left and if I'm not deliberate, they will learn from me to whisper instead of roar.  So I am trying, trying, to pause and ask myself (in the midst of the chaos) if I really do need to "shhh" anyone at this particular moment.  

There's been a video circulating that shows girls responding to the request to "run like a girl" and, as might be expected they run in a half-serious manner, arms flailing.  How often do I reinforce the stereotype that I loathe: that girls are weaker or less legit in their very being (don't get me started on the lack of sensitivity displayed when people ask a pregnant woman the gender of her unborn child!)?  I think I do it quite a lot, whether by not respecting myself enough, my husband (I'm not sure where Katy stands, but ROAR to me does not equal man bashing), my kids?  Another blog I read recently dissected the comical scenario of a dad with the shotgun ready to defend his daughter from any unworthy suitor.  This mom challenged us to rethink that whole notion:

Instead of intimidating all your daughter’s potential suitors, raise a daughter who intimidates them just fine on her own. Because, you know what’s intimidating? Strength and dignity. Deep faith. Self-assuredness. Wisdom. Kindness. Humility. Industriousness. Those are the bricks that build the wall that withstands the advances of old Slouchy-Pants, whether you ever show up with your Winchester locked and loaded or not. The unsuitable suitor finds nothing more terrifying than a woman who knows her worth to God and to her family.


Wisdom taken from: http://jenwilkin.blogspot.com/2014/06/on-daughters-and-dating-how-to.html?spref=fb


What a crazy notion!  Raise our girls to intimidate their suitors!!!  Raise our daughters to know their worth and to flaunt it! Raise our daughters to ROAR!

As parents we are continually realizing that we learn as much, if not more, from our kids than we ever teach them.  I live with a proud bunch of lionesses and I could learn a thing or two from them.  I'm going to start by making sure all the car windows are rolled down when we sing that song.